


the devil and me

by idekman



Series: rewrite [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Daredevil (TV)
Genre: AU, Comedy, Drabbles, Fluff, Foggy freaks out, Gen, Humour, Karen gets recruited to SHIELD by Captain America, Natasha goes to pottery barn, Pietro returns from teh dead, Thor braids people's hair and is weirdly perceptive, headcanons, post-AoU, post-age of ultron, without bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:34:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4046152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idekman/pseuds/idekman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The man stood in front of her – messy hair, bright blue eyes, tatty clothes – stares at her dully for a second.<br/>‘Are you the devil of Hell’s Kitchen?’ He asks. Karen pauses a second, waits for the punchline – and then, when none comes, tells him with a deadpan expression;<br/>‘Yes. Yes I am. It’s nice to meet you.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	the devil and me

There’s a knock on the door.

‘It’s your turn,’ Foggy pipes up from his office. The summer heat lays thick on the air, and they’ve wedged open all the doors and windows to compensate. Matt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, hair dishevelled, glares in Foggy’s general direction. Foggy, who’s holding an ice pack to the back of his neck in a (perhaps misguided) attempt to cool down, glares back.

Karen, who has the office’s only fan perched on her desk, rolls her eyes and forces herself to her feet as the knock comes on the door again.

‘Alright, alright, we’re _coming_!’ She calls, padding across the room barefoot and wrenching the door open.

The man stood in front of her – messy hair, bright blue eyes, tatty clothes – stares at her dully for a second.

‘Are you the devil of Hell’s Kitchen?’ He asks. Karen pauses a second, waits for the punchline – and then, when none comes, tells him with a deadpan expression;

‘Yes. Yes I am. It’s nice to meet you.’

From Matt’s office comes an exasperated _Karen_. Quickly, he pads into the room – he’s not wearing any shoes either, Karen notes, tie abandoned a long while ago – and attempts to hustle Karen back to her desk. She doesn’t budge because she’s pretty sure this dude has a –

‘Metal arm,’ Foggy squeaks from where he’s peeking his head around the corner of his office. Quietly, he retreats back inside, slamming the door shut behind him. The man either doesn’t notice, or chooses to ignore the entire exchange. He’s still staring, somewhat intently, at Karen.

‘This is the one they call Daredevil?’ He asks, gesturing towards Karen. Matt rubs a hand across his forehead whilst Karen nods, very seriously.

‘Absolutely –’

‘ _Not_. Welcome to Nelson and Murdock. This is Karen. She’s not Daredevil.’

‘None of us are Daredevil,’ Karen pipes up. ‘We even have t-shirts.’

Matt is starting to think this might be revenge for the great water balloon incident of last week. He supposes, really, that he deserves it. He, after all, wasn’t the one who stayed behind for an hour to mop up water from the floor.

From three floors down, he hears the front door to the building slam shut. There are harried, quick footsteps on the stairs.

A few moments later, Karen picks up on a shout. _Buck?_

And. Oh. A few pieces are beginning to come together – that would, after all, explain the metal arm. And she doesn’t need to be Daredevil to know who’s coming up those stairs. In fact, _actual_ Daredevil doesn’t seem to have any clue. She’s grateful, at least, for the opportunity to prepare herself in the millisecond before Captain America comes bounding into their office. Sure, he’s not carrying a shield or wearing spandex, but that face has been splayed across enough of mainstream media for her to know _exactly_ who that is.

He’s wild-eyed and a little breathless, and some sort of tension melts out of him when he sees Bucky stood in their office, still carefully studying Karen.

‘Jesus, Buck,’ Steve Rogers, actual _Captain America Steve Rogers_ , breathes out. ‘You gotta stop wandering off like that, I nearly had a heart attack.’ There’s a moment where he blinks – then seems to realise there are other people in the office. He smiles charmingly. Karen thinks her knees just wobbled. Matt rolls his eyes behind his glasses. ‘God, sorry, I hope we didn’t interrupt –’

‘I found the Daredevil,’ the man cuts in ( _Bucky Barnes_ , Karen’s mind supplies helpfully. _The Winter Soldier. Fuck. Where the fuck is Foggy? Fuck!_ ), nodding towards Karen. Steve reels a little, frowning across at Karen for a moment – studying her just as Bucky had.

‘You’re not here to kill me, are you?’ Karen says. Steve Rogers laughs. It’s a pretty, tinkling sound, the sort of sound she thinks baby unicorns would make. Karen thinks she might faint. Matt, if it were possible, rolls his eyes _even harder_.

‘Of course not. It’s an honour to meet you, Ms. Daredevil.’

Steve Rogers holds out his hand for Karen to shake. _Captain America_ holds out her hand for her, _Karen_ , to shake. Because he _thinks she’s Daredevil_. She thinks her heart may literally have just skipped a beat.

Several things happen at once.

Matt makes an odd, aggravated growling noise that may actually be the noise of him imploding out of frustration, and snaps;

‘ _She’s not Daredevil!’_

Karen, as a result, thumps him in the arm. Hard.

And then Foggy comes out of his office, takes one look at Captain America, walks directly into a wall, and then Karen’s desk.

For a moment, they stand in silence, staring. Foggy’s on the floor, face-down, remarkably still. Karen thinks he might be the one producing the high-pitched, quiet screeching sound that is currently echoing around the office. Very slowly, in an eerie, synchronised movement, Bucky and Steve look up to stare at her.

‘None of us are Daredevil,’ she repeats. It’s not particularly convincing. ‘We really do have t-shirts.’

*

‘I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt.’

‘It’s fine. Foggy’s clumsy like that. He’ll be alright.’

Foggy’s back at the office with Matt and Bucky (who apparently has some interest in the vigilante game, as opposed to being an actual real-life Avenger, and had some detective work that had completely and utterly passed Steve by, somehow) nursing an egg-shaped bump on his forehead.

‘He’ll have a nasty bruise, but he’ll be fine,’ Karen reassures Steve with a smile. ‘It’s nothing worse than anything Matt’s come home with.’

Steve nods, taking a sip of his coffee – it’s a latte with six caramel shots and enough sugar to rot a normal person’s teeth – as he frowns across at Karen. It’s quite something, to be under the intense gaze of Captain America. She wriggles uncomfortably in her seat – but then again, his Justice Stare TM doesn’t have a patch on Matt’s.

‘You spend a lot of time cleaning up after the Daredevil?’ Steve asks eventually – and whatever Karen had been expecting, it sure as hell wasn’t _that_.

‘Um?’ She squeaks, taking a few moments to realise that that’s not really a sufficient answer. ‘I guess so. But – I don’t really mind.’

‘I heard you had a large part in putting Wilson Fisk away,’ Steve shoots back. Karen only shrugs, opens her mouth to respond, only for Steve to cut in; ‘I’ve also heard word on the street about James Wesley.’

She freezes, coffee cup halfway to her mouth. Slowly, trying not to show the shake in her hand, she puts it back down on the table.

‘For a Brooklyn guy, you sure do keep up with what happens in Hell’s Kitchen.’

Steve puts his coffee down too and puts a comforting hand on Karen’s wrist.

‘Only the important stuff. I’m not threatening you, Ms. Page. But you’re good at keeping secrets, cleaning up after other people’s messes, you know what to do with yourself in a fight – SHIELD are always looking for people to fight the good fight.’ He stands, puts a few bills down on the table between them. ‘I better be off. For all I know, Bucky’s jumping off buildings with Daredevil. It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Page.’

‘Karen,’ she tells him, standing to shake his hand. She watches him go, slightly wide-eyed, then stares down at the money resting by Steve’s coffee cup. He’s left a business card on the table. Cautiously, she picks it up. It’s a black, sleek, with only a number on it. No name.

She spends a little while staring off into the distance. She thinks she might have just gotten recruited by Captain America.

Foggy’s gonna _murder her_.

‘Excuse me, ma’am, but was that _Captain America_?’

Karen jolts in her seat, staring up at the waitress looming over her seat. Karen swallows and says the first thing that comes to her head.

‘I’m not Daredevil.’ A pause. And then; ‘I have a t-shirt.’

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on twitter or tumblr. I would love to hear from you and am definitely taking prompts and requests, so if you want to see anything in a fic just hmu! <3


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